We live in Austria, land of balls (yeah, we have balls here). Waltzing season starts in winter and ends... pretty much never. And we always go to this one ball in February. After years of experience, I am ready to share with you some preparation secrets ;).
~three months before the ball~
1. Attempt to buy tickets. They are all sold out. Excellent. You're late.
2. Talk to all your Facebook and work contacts. This friend who you met in Zumba class four years ago is one of the organisers. Score.
3. Buy ball tickets.
2. Talk to all your Facebook and work contacts. This friend who you met in Zumba class four years ago is one of the organisers. Score.
3. Buy ball tickets.
~two months before the ball~
4. Order a dress from China (ok, men, you should order a tuxedo from Thailand. I will continue though these instructions for the ladies only). Prepare to be surprised.
~one month before the ball~
5. Fill out your customs clearance forms and finally get the dress.
6. Suprise! The dress is too small/big/ugly.
7. Find a tailor to alter the dress. Realise this would cost you more than the dress itself.
8. Abandon the tailor idea.
9. Order a dress from the US (probably also made in China).
10. Have your credit card details rejected, you must be a scammer to ship a dress from the US to Austria.
11. Order the dress to be shipped to your mother-in-law's address in the States.
12. Have your mother-in-law reject your order with the delivery company. Twice.
13. Abandon idea of ordering the dress from the US.
6. Suprise! The dress is too small/big/ugly.
7. Find a tailor to alter the dress. Realise this would cost you more than the dress itself.
8. Abandon the tailor idea.
9. Order a dress from the US (probably also made in China).
10. Have your credit card details rejected, you must be a scammer to ship a dress from the US to Austria.
11. Order the dress to be shipped to your mother-in-law's address in the States.
12. Have your mother-in-law reject your order with the delivery company. Twice.
13. Abandon idea of ordering the dress from the US.
~three weeks before the ball~
14. Book a babysitter to make sure you're going to the ball, naked or not.
15. Have a second nanny lined up just in case.
16. Explore dress purchasing options in Vienna. Realise you might as well buy a ticket to a nice warm destination for the same price.
17. Abandon the idea of purchasing a dress in Vienna.
18. Procrastinate. There is still time until the ball.
19. Try out your old ball dresses.
20. None of your old dresses fits.
21. Start a diet.
22. For one hour. Then someone brings French macarons. And violet chocolate.
23. Decide to make your own dress. Or, kind of. All you need is to buy a cheap dress and transform it into something you actually like.
24. Get excited.
15. Have a second nanny lined up just in case.
16. Explore dress purchasing options in Vienna. Realise you might as well buy a ticket to a nice warm destination for the same price.
17. Abandon the idea of purchasing a dress in Vienna.
18. Procrastinate. There is still time until the ball.
19. Try out your old ball dresses.
20. None of your old dresses fits.
21. Start a diet.
22. For one hour. Then someone brings French macarons. And violet chocolate.
23. Decide to make your own dress. Or, kind of. All you need is to buy a cheap dress and transform it into something you actually like.
24. Get excited.
~two weeks before the ball~
25. Find a cheap dress online.
26. It's too late for shipping, go buy it in a real shop.
27. Ok, they don't have it. Try another one. Or two.
28. Finally get the dress:
26. It's too late for shipping, go buy it in a real shop.
27. Ok, they don't have it. Try another one. Or two.
28. Finally get the dress:
29. The dress is the wrong size, but you don't have time now to search for another dress.
30. Buy what you need to alter the dress.
31. The shop doesn't have what you need to alter the dress.
32. Get whatever they have.
33. Try to make the dress in a size that fits.
34. Fail. If you could make the dress fit, you could have altered the dress from China.
35. (not recommended) Start eating donuts in order to fit the dress.
36. Decide on the alterations that you actually CAN do.
37. Test your sewing skills again:
30. Buy what you need to alter the dress.
31. The shop doesn't have what you need to alter the dress.
32. Get whatever they have.
33. Try to make the dress in a size that fits.
34. Fail. If you could make the dress fit, you could have altered the dress from China.
35. (not recommended) Start eating donuts in order to fit the dress.
36. Decide on the alterations that you actually CAN do.
37. Test your sewing skills again:
(to be continued)
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